Hurricane Vash
by Mr. Vash The Stampede
Summary: Yet another town destroyed. *sigh* Will Vash ever stop being shot at? And will Meryl ever admit that she doesn't hate his guts? A couple of swears, and if it goes like it is, there will be a lot more. This is my first fanfic, so response is appreceated!
1. So much destruction, so little time

DISCLAIMER: Nick does not own Trigun, so suing me will get you nowhere!  
  
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View pans over destroyed town, super-imposed over the bottom is HARJIN TOWN. Milly and Meryl pull themselves from under a pile of wood debris, and look at each other. Meryl's face puffs up, going slightly red, and she clenches her fists in front of her, "THAT'S IT! WHERE IS THAT DONUT-STUFFING, WOMAN-CHASING, BEER- BARFING, SPIKY-HAIRED MORON?! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!!"  
  
Milly grabs her colleague's arms and hugs her close to her chest before she can make good her threat. "Now sempai, you don't mean that. For all we know, the town could have been destroyed by a freak earthquake! We can't blame everything on Mr. Vash" Meryl blinks at her. "Why not!? It's obvious that pastry-packing idiot is the cause, only he could manage to blow up an entire town!" She crosses her arms sulkily, then thinks that the aforementioned Idiot does the same pose, and sighs, letting her arms drop down, where she pushes on the debris pinning her hips and legs. "How else can you explain all this wanton destruction, and the many towns-people missing, off hunting him?"  
  
Milly helps pull her out, then digs around for a moment and retrieves their belongings. "Well, maybe it's like Mr. Vash always says, that he didn't do anything, and people are just blaming him." Meryl sighs again, then slides down the pile of debris to the ground. "We might as well go see the town's sheriff, at least to see what insurance is going to pay for all this destruction." Milly smiles as starts to slide down, then trips and rolls to the bottom, landing in a sitting position, legs splayed, face blank. "....ok sempai!" She gets up and dusts herself off, then picks up their possessions and follows Meryl down the debris-littered street towards the sheriff's office.  
  
At the office, which has no roof, or much of any walls for that matter, they ironically enter through the door, stepping over debris as they enter, and knocking first. The Sheriff blinks and looks up. "You ladies can just come right in" The two girls walks in, and up to the desk, which is being cleaned off by the sheriff. "What can I do for you?" he asks, picking up a small black cat off his desk and carrying it over to the window and gently dropping it outside. The cat blinks up at him "Myaaa" then walks off, only to be hit by a dodge ball a few minutes later, and tossed into the air like a pop fly at a Cubs game. "Myaaaaaaa!"  
  
Meryl blinks at the cat, then shakes her head to re-organize her thoughts and bows her head politely to the sheriff, "I am Meryl Stryfe of the Bernadelli Insurance Company." Milly chimes in, "And I'm Milly Thompson!" Meryl continues, "We came here to see if we could offer any assistance, and also to find out anything about a Vash the Stampede, and if he had anything to do with this town's destruction."  
  
The Sheriff shuffles some papers, looks at them, and tosses them into the trash, because there is only half of the pages. "Well, I don't think you can help much, we got everything pretty much under control, and all we have to do is see to a few mild injuries, and that's it. As to that Vash the Stampede feller, yeah, I heard that he came to this town a few days ago. About 5 hours ago, I actually heard someone screaming something about 'The Humanoid Typhoon is coming, run for your lives' then the entire town seemed to just go...poof!" he waves his arms in an exploding gesture, knocking a broken figurine off a shelf. He picks it up, and tosses it out the shattered window into a pile of trash to be taken away.  
  
Milly puts her hands to her mouth. "Oh gosh, that's awful!" Meryl manages not to roll her eyes. "Well, thank you very much for your time, sir, we'll let you get back to your work." The Sheriff smiles and waves "It's been a pleasure talking to you ladies." He looks around, and finds the only thing undamaged, a file for a rule that makes his life harder, and the lives of criminals easier. He looks around, then carefully pulls out a lighter and torches the file.  
  
Well.That's Chapter 1. Short, I know. Hopefully that will be fixed in...Chapter 2! Dun-dun-duuun! 


	2. So Where The Heck is Vash Anyways?

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun, so suing me will get you nowhere! You may now resume your normal programming.  
  
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Elsewhere in the town, Vash the Stampede leans against a partially destroyed wall, panting heavily. "Pant....gasp....wheeze....I'm hungry.....huh?" he looks up as a small black cat falls from nowhere. He reaches up and catches it, and strokes it. The cat blinks. "Myaa?" then purrs and rubs against Vash's hand, then hops down and walks off. Vash blinks and scratches his head "...ooooo-kay, that was weird...oh shit, here come those crazy townies again!" He leaps to his feet and starts sneaking off, but a man with a shotgun spots him.  
  
"HEY! THERE HE IS! HEY EVERYONE! I FOUND HIM!" the man fires a round at Vash, who screams and dodges the large metal shotgun slug, which continues past and blows a hole in an already ravaged wall. Vash shakes a finger at the man, "You know that you're causing a lot of property damage trying to get me....AGH!" He dives out of the way and takes off running as the man aims and fires another slug. "Dammit! Missed again!"  
  
Vash sighs as he runs, leaping up and grabbing a bent flagpole. He swings around the pole, then lets go and flips three times through the air, landing on top of one of the few buildings that are relatively unharmed. He looks around, hoping that no-one saw him get up onto the building.  
  
Suddenly there is a 'whoosh' sound and he leaps up. The rocket from the rocket-launcher smashes into the building and detonates, sending huge chunks of building everywhere. Vash shrieks and leaps from chunk to chunk in midair, scrambling to an unharmed part of the building and leaping down the stairwell. He falls down the stairs, and lands in a heap at the bottom of the landing. Muffled cursing comes from under his trench coat, and he picks himself up, rubbing his back as he massages the bruises and dashes out of the back door.  
  
After about 15 minutes of alternating between sneaking past patrols and screaming while dodging bullets on the run, he finally manages to evade pursuit, and collapses into the surviving half of a couch. "Jeeze, I didn't think I would ever lose them! They are almost as bad as those insurance girls!" He finally uses this time to pull some bullets out of his bag, and load his silver Colt .45 revolver. As he does, who would happen to come across him, but Meryl and Milly, the insurance girls.  
  
Meryl stomps up to him and plants a punch on the top of his head, smashing his face into the sand. "That's for running off again!" just as he pulls his head out of the sand, she decks him again, "and THAT'S for blowing up the town!" Vash pulls his head out for a second time and cringes. He rubs his head and in a whiney tone, "Owwww! That hurt! I know I ran off, but I was hungry! And as to blowing up the town, I didn't do it! All the towns- people did it trying to kill me!"  
  
Meryl blinks, then points a finger at Milly "Don't say a word!" She turns back to Vash and puts her hands on her hips, "Well, I'm sorry for hitting you, but what do you want me to do?" Vash smiles with watery eyes, "Well...you could take that last punch back, and kiss it better."  
  
Meryl pulls back her fist to deck him again "Pervert!" Milly stops her "Now Meryl, you always insist on fixing your mistakes!" Meryl looks at Milly as if she just betrayed her, then sighs, "Oh, all right. I'm sorry for punching you, Vash" She bends down and kisses the top of his head gently. Vash smiles and gets up "Thank you, apology accepted....something wrong?"  
  
Meryl quickly stifles her blush, and shakes her head, "No, of course not!" Vash smiles, looking like he suspects. Then he shrugs, turns, and starts walking down the street...or should I say, dancing. He hums to himself as he walks, his eyes might as well be closed, as much as he's paying attention to his surroundings. The song sounds suspiciously like 'Breakdown', by Tantric. Milly and Meryl blink at each other, then jog to catch up to the dancing buffoon and flank him as he dance/walks down the street.  
  
The sheriff comes out onto the street and blinks as Vash dances past, flanked by the two girls. "....." he shakes his head, as if to clear it, then continues walking, tallying up the damage. He has just finished, and as he finishes adding up the total damages, there is a shout and the sound of a grenade exploding, followed by the sound of two girls' screams. A large chunk of building falls to the ground in front of him. He sighs, and adds another $$1000 to the total. The afore-mentioned grenade bounces off Vash's head, who quickly kicks it away using a back-flipping kick. The grenade flies away and blows up a wall, spraying deadly shrapnel everywhere. But none of it hit Vash, he had picked up Milly and Meryl in each arm and leaped behind cover, saving their lives.  
  
Meryl has her eyes squeezed shut, and is clinging to Vash's body like a scared child looking to a loved-one for protection. Milly also has her eyes shut, but has her hands over her ears to protect them from the noise. Vash blinks down at Meryl, who opens one eye, then both. She blushes bright red and drops off of Vash's body like he burned her. Vash turns slightly pink and sets down Milly, who looks blankly at Vash and Meryl, wondering why they are behaving like that. Vash coughs, and then Meryl blinks out of her trance and shakes her head, "Um, right....Are you ok Milly?"  
  
Milly smiles, looking slightly dim-witted, "I'm fine sempai! If it wasn't for Mr. Vash, we would probably be dead!" Meryl looks at Vash, and feels a blush rise in her cheeks again. She quickly suppresses it and tries to glare at Vash. "Don't remind me, he's saved our lives too many times already, and most of them wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for him in the first place!" Vash makes a small sound, something like 'eep' and leans back, "Wait! Time-out!"  
  
Meryl sighs and crosses her arms. "There's no time for arguments, lets just move on." Vash blinks, regains his composure, and smiles. "Then..bye!" And suddenly he disappears, with only a cloud of dust moving off around the corner, out of the town, and into the distance to show that he was ever there.  
  
Meryl's eye twitches. "MILLY! HE'S GETTING AWAY! AFTER HIM!" The two Insurance girls grab their bags, hop into the only intact car in the area, and put the pedal to the floor, zooming off over the dunes after the psycho in the red trench coat.  
  
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Well, there's Chapter Two! I'm sorry about such a long delay, but Writer's Block, combined with never-ending computer problems, school, and another fan-fic added up against me, and I was only just now able to get enough time to work on the chapter. Hopefully Chapter Three will make up for the delay!  
  
What will happen next? Feel free to e-mail me or leave a review with any ideas!  
  
Love and Peace! 


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